Why I Chose Not to Share My Relationship On Social Media

...Despite breaking up with my ex years ago and having moved on to bigger and better things in all aspects of life, I chose not to erase the evidence of what once was. The reason for that is simple; like scars, those pictures occasionally remind me of what NOT to do. And sharing something as intimate and precious as a relationship definitely falls into that category.

In our day and age, social media has become part of our daily lives. I Snap most of my out-of-work activities, post my vacation on the ‘Gram, occasionally share my socio-political POV on 'the bird' and publicly interact with my friends on Facebook. However, one thing you WON’T get to see on the internet is me locking lips or gazing into the eyes of my lover. People have said anything and everything from “if you don’t share you don’t care” to “you must not be ready to acknowledge this”, they couldn't be further from the truth. Don’t get me wrong, there was a time when I, like others, enjoyed letting my friends, family and acquaintances in on my relationship. And the truth of the matter is that the Internet still holds proof of that, and that is only part of the problem…  

The scars
You see, despite breaking up with my ex years ago and having moved on to bigger and better things in all aspects of life, I chose not to erase the evidence of what once was. The reason for that is simple; like scars, those pictures occasionally remind me of what not to do. And sharing something as intimate and precious as a relationship definitely falls into that category. Those scars remind me of a time when that ‘relationship status’ change sparked dozens of Facebook comments and messages, and more phone calls and text messages than I was ready to handle. So spare yourself the ache and trouble…& keep it fo’ yo’ damn self! And maybe your really close friends and family.

The perception
When you come to find something that is so rare, and precious, as another being willing to share his heart and soul through thick and thin; sharing a one-sided view of that relationship (cuz we damn well know you won’t be Snapping that argument you both had last night, or any other hardship for that matter) is not only very biased; it may come off as detrimental to your own perception of that relationship. As Brad Pitt once said: “Relationships are not only about love, but they are also about hatred, frustrations & disappointments”. Sharing a sole perception of your love, while omitting the harsh reality that relationships are hard, flawed and require enormous amounts of time and dedication may impact the way you interact within your relationship. So get off that pretty cloud (pun intended) and take it for what it is; a long path of commitment, understanding, arguing and, yes, blissful moments along the way. 

The interactions

Relationships are fragile. Bulging relationships even more so. Putting yourself out there may not only expose you to the reckless opinions of others but may weaken a bond that has not yet fully solidified. So instead of devoting time reading other people’s two cents about your relationship, why not spend the time ACTUALLY building that relationship. I’ll quote Sage The Gemini on this one: “[…] when I'm not posting her it's probably because I'm holding her”. And that’s exactly what we should all be doing.   I’ve chosen to cherish my relationship by making it a precious gem not to be shared. Despite that, if you still choose to share your relationship on social media, it’s important you understand, measure and control the impact it may have on you and on your loved one. Social media holds power, so hit the gram if you want to, but don’t lose yourself or the essence and purpose of your relationship in the process… Love always comes first.

By Sylvie Lauture